Hellllllooooooooooooooo, dear readers!
Extreme and most deeply felt apologies for just dropping off the face of the planet.
In case you didn't catch my earlier posts, we have been moving house.
Here is my number 1 tip for moving house;
DON'T MOVE HOUSE.
It's really that simple.
Except that it's not, is it? Chances are, life will be filled with house movings, and as you go on in life, you accumulate shit and kids and then all the kid's shit, and in the end, you realise you're a ridiculously out of control consumer and what the fuck do you need all this shit for anyway (kids excluded...mostly).
I won't bore you with the details....well, not all of them anyway.
Let me roll out a little bit of moving advice - I think you can all benefit from my experience...
THE LITTLE MUMMA'S MOVING HOUSE DOs and DON'Ts
DON'T move house....but if you must -
DO have an awesome family who are willing to help move all your shit for you even though the last time you spoke to them was at a wedding in November last year
DON'T read lots of blogs about how great vintage is and then be seduced by a house based almost solely on the vintage wallpaper in the kitchen
DO take the time to notice that the carpet is also vintage and vintage carpet is not great - AT ALL
DON'T arrive at the house the day you get the keys and realise that your landlord has left seemingly half his stuff behind
DO have the world's greatest landlord who is deeply apologetic and not only clears everything out but gives you a week's free rent for the inconvenience
DON'T have a major panic attack that lasts for over 24 hours...but if you must -
DO go to the doctor first thing in the morning and cry so that they see you right away
DON'T let the doctor go on too long about how therapy is best for anxiety - you already know that but you need to move house TODAY with your TWO SMALL CHILDREN and if you don't get some Valium into your bloodstream, you will be foetal before midday
DO take that Valium NOW
DON'T forget to be amazed at your beautiful partner who takes the day off work because you are a mess and now you are a sleepy mess
DO have an awesome mum who babysits the kids on the big move day
DON'T think you won't bawl your eyes out when you finally climb into bed in this weird place that doesn't feel anything like home yet
DO go back to your previous house and clean, clean, clean that place until it sparkles
DON'T think that's going to save you from a landlord who is determined to withold some of your bond
DO take deep breaths because it's only money and soon enough, you will be free of that greedy, greedy man
DON'T forget that the universe has lead you to this new home for a reason
DO start to see it's beauty and remember why you fell in love with it in the first place
DON'T look at your next credit card bill - seeing 'Red Rooster' listed thirteen times in a row will just bring you down
DO survive it all. Because you always do....