The last two days, I've been in a weird headspace. And I really can't pinpoint why.
I think, sometimes, there are too many things to do. Always so many things that need doing. Every now and then, that weight of expectation becomes unbearable. We carry it and carry it and then, there comes the day that it sits so heavily on our shoulders that we start to buckle.
Today, my knees were ready to give out.
But LD wanted to play. Little Zee was napping and LD wanted to hang out with his mumma, "for a little bit" as he likes to say, curling his little fingers around mine.
We headed out to the backyard. We jumped on the trampoline. And when we were tired, we lay side by side and looked up at the cloudless sky. It was a beautiful day.
Above us, we saw birds, butterflies and other insects, soaring, fluttering, buzzing. The intricate webs of the spiders making their home on the verandah roof. We listened to birds tweet, tweeting. The gentle rustle of the wind through the leaves. And then, the distant roar of an aeroplane, way, way up, cutting a path through the endless blue sky.
"I love you, mate," I said.
"Yes," he replied, "I love you."
He snuggled against me. Kissed my cheek.
And in that moment, I was light as a feather.